two more days of my teenage years
if i could stay here forever i would, but life goes on & i will get older i am scared of getting older i do not want to get older but there's no going back now nineteen has taught me many things i didn't want to know, but perhaps needed to i truly believe i visited rock bottom as well as cloud nine nineteen i lived in my dreams nineteen i lived in my nightmares i made some of the best friends i could ever ask for and experienced some of my favorite memories alongside them nineteen i let people use me nineteen i started to realize my worth i created, i wrote, i sang, i loved i caved, i quit, i cried, i gave too much nineteen i lost ones i love but i didn't really lose them, they're still here with me nineteen i screamed at the top of my lungs, cried out to the higher power, unable to breathe from fear and pain and suffering nineteen i screamed at the top of my lungs, thanked the higher power, unable to breathe from jumping around and laughing and dancing nineteen i found myself nineteen i lost myself over and over i saw things get better i saw things get worse over and over i saw the world get flipped on its head and i cried for the world often i cried for my friends and myself i celebrated & i mourned often some days of nineteen i saw the world in technicolor and kaleidoscopes other days i saw the world in nothing but the bleakest hue of grey some days of nineteen i thought i wouldn't see twenty with just two days left, i feel that way today two more days, i think i can make it but the world is uncertain and nineteen taught me that more than ever nineteen was a year of balance - my lows made me appreciate my highs all the more i learned to rejoice when things are just okay - neither good nor bad - and bask in the okayness of life i guess now it is time to see what twenty offers i hope i have the strength to take on whatever it throws my way
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October 2023
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