so scared of the silence
so i'll scream to make sound empty words are violent but i can't keep it down how do i take comfort when i know how it ends should i scare my mother? or concern all my friends? wipe away my tears and put on a show if i go off the script will anybody know? i think i missed my queue i'm running far behind everything is blurred now i cannot read the lines disconnect deactivate keep to myself when i'm in this state i shut myself off it feels safe this way lock all the doors until i need to escape then i will come inside keep you company and i won't speak up when i'm ready to leave is 'enough' too foreign a concept? will i ever become acquainted? when i stretch myself this thin what part of me do i get to keep? i'll tell anybody anything but never everything take a few steps back please i must leave some room for me i'm friends with inconsistency adorned in unreliability my memory is failing me what was i doing? please remind me my thoughts overgrown i'm far too used to this my mind longs for home but i'm not sure where that is
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i've been abandoned by the sheep
so i'll count every shadow i see and convince myself they are after me i watch the train pass by but i was too weak to board it maybe taking a different route will lead to better opportunity placed in between myself and who you want me to be is love a possibility? let me know before i lose myself completely you stare into my restless eyes and say, "i wish i could take it away from you" and trust me, i do too |
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October 2023
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